Why does it always rain on me?


 a rain of feelings and emotions
dropping down on me
hitting me like never before
bouncing of on my soul
leaving marks
and making my whole

Leave it Inside


So find me in your garden now
A sad smile for the scene and all the flowers that we planted now taken by the weeds.
But in my minds eye, you know they still bloom for me
They stand tall there, in that summer breeze
Leave the memories alone



there is nothing to see even to feel under this daylight's endless misery

Melodia Hujan dan Pria Jum'at

kudengar kau bicara.
tentang sesuatu yang tak ingin kudengar.
                                           tapi waktu
tak dapat kuputar. Jumat. namamu.

di beranda kala itu, kau ulang senandung.
        kau rapal hingga genap.
lalu kau berkata, "Dengarkah suarasuara itu, hujan?"


Sederhana saja: hujan gandrung pada jum’at.
begitu banyak yang tak bisa tersampaikan.
seperti bulan yang bungkam pada malam
                              dan api yang sulut pada hasrat.

tingkaptingkap semburat cahaya.
   asamasam purba semai. Pernahkah kau pahami
waktu dan misteri ada dalam garis yang sama
                                      dan baik kau juga aku
tidak pernah paham pada hakikat. Belum, mungkin.


“Jumat, kudapati kau dalam dimensi. kududuki
kau dalam rimbun hujan. Tak seharusnya
                                                   kita melingga.”

pada titik ini,
kita duduk pada kutub yang berbeda. ruangruang bicara
                                                                 pada diam.
melepas rangka. sarat dalam kedalaman.
tapi waktu tak dapat kuputar.

Jumat, namamu.
itu cukup.

Fall Into You


don't you shiver
don't you cry
don't you fall behind

for i shall take them...away

Monochromatic Stains

against the life was the walls of my living,
too much high for me to see the other side of it
so I've made a life behind these walls of eternity
from the pieces that I've found from the broken pieces of the past
all to create...
a roof to be safe under,
a home to turn back in
a memo to write over it,
a coffin to rest again inside
and to leave there all and all over again to...
to go out and to see the violence,
to go out and to be a homeless
to leave there and to witness the cold,
to leave there and to break again

   against the fair was the fate of my being,
too much far for me to reach the other ones
so I've made an empty frame and hanged it on my wall
having and showing no one's portrait and nowhere's view on it to look
all could be...
a blank frame to look and dream,
a sorrowful landscape to lay down
a never-existed mean of joy to have,
a cold meadow of silence to scream
and to rise from my lair all and all over again to...
to go somewhere else and to seek the one,
to go to another place and to be lost
to find and to be with forever, to have and to die for after

for so many years that I've lost
the first and the last standing home
the home which was the inside of me
the frame which was the soul that I've had
with not knowing that...
that all the life was against me
with no place to be in, with having no one by my side
with having no pictures to complete, with no air to breathe
with no reason to keep on going,
with no fate but falling


all and all over again...

Silent Wanderer


I will wait...for you to come, I will suffer...for you to have
I will erase...for you to paint, I will fight...for you to be
I will mourn...for you to cry, I will wither...for you to shed
I will leave...for you to see, I will die...for you to live...

I Will...