Leave it Inside

So find me in your garden now
A sad smile for the scene and all the flowers that we planted now taken by the weeds.
But in my minds eye, you know they still bloom for me
They stand tall there, in that summer breeze
Leave the memories alone

Silently

there is nothing to see even to feel under this daylight's endless misery

Melodia Hujan dan Pria Jum'at

 

(1)

kudengar kau bicara.

tentang sesuatu yang tak ingin kudengar.

                                           tapi waktu

tak dapat kuputar. Jumat. namamu.

di beranda kala itu, kau ulang senandung.

        kau rapal hingga genap.

lalu kau berkata, "Dengarkah suarasuara itu, hujan?"

“Ya..”

Sederhana saja: hujan gandrung pada jum’at.

begitu banyak yang tak bisa tersampaikan.

seperti bulan yang bungkam pada malam

                              dan api yang sulut pada hasrat.

(2)

tingkaptingkap semburat cahaya.

   asamasam purba semai. Pernahkah kau pahami

waktu dan misteri ada dalam garis yang sama

                                      dan baik kau juga aku

tidak pernah paham pada hakikat. Belum, mungkin.

Hingga..

“Jumat, kudapati kau dalam dimensi. kududuki

kau dalam rimbun hujan. Tak seharusnya

                                                   kita melingga.”

(3)

pada titik ini,

kita duduk pada kutub yang berbeda. ruangruang bicara

                                                                 pada diam.

melepas rangka. sarat dalam kedalaman.

tapi waktu tak dapat kuputar.

Jumat, namamu.

itu cukup.

Fall Into You

don't you shiver

don't you cry

don't you fall behind

for i shall take them...away

 

Monochromatic Stains

against the life was the walls of my living,
too much high for me to see the other side of it
so I've made a life behind these walls of eternity
from the pieces that I've found from the broken pieces of the past
all to create...
a roof to be safe under,
a home to turn back in
a memo to write over it,
a coffin to rest again inside
and to leave there all and all over again to...
to go out and to see the violence,
to go out and to be a homeless
to leave there and to witness the cold,
to leave there and to break again

   against the fair was the fate of my being,
too much far for me to reach the other ones
so I've made an empty frame and hanged it on my wall
having and showing no one's portrait and nowhere's view on it to look
all could be...
a blank frame to look and dream,
a sorrowful landscape to lay down
a never-existed mean of joy to have,
a cold meadow of silence to scream
and to rise from my lair all and all over again to...
to go somewhere else and to seek the one,
to go to another place and to be lost
to find and to be with forever, to have and to die for after
for so many years that I've lost
the first and the last standing home
the home which was the inside of me
the frame which was the soul that I've had
with not knowing that...
that all the life was against me
with no place to be in, with having no one by my side
with having no pictures to complete, with no air to breathe
with no reason to keep on going,
with no fate but falling
 




all and all over again...

Silent Wanderer

I will wait...for you to come, I will suffer...for you to have
I will erase...for you to paint, I will fight...for you to be
I will mourn...for you to cry, I will wither...for you to shed
I will leave...for you to see, I will die...for you to live...

I Will...